You provide the prose poems, I'll provide the war

I have a hard time taking this "War on Christmas" stuff seriously, or even wrapping my head around the fact that other people take it seriously.

Like the whole "Happy Holidays" vs. "Merry Christmas" thing. Some people say one thing, some say the other. But do you know anyone that seriously gets in a huff if you say "Merry Christmas"? Do you even know anyone who knows anyone who gets offended at this? What kind of half-ass war is this anyway?

Yeah, there's a few isolated incidents of this guy or that guy taking things a bit far, but nutjobs aren't Generals. Hyperbole aside, this "War on Christmas" stuff claims that there is a genuine liberal movement to suppress recognition of Christmas. I can't stress how fundamentally ridiculous the whole claim is, it's simply untrue. This is a made up issue for cable news blowhards (I won't name any networks in particular, but let's just say "They retort, I deride"). It's just this fake thing they created to have something to yell about during the holidays. It's another goddamn cultural wedge being wielded by schmucks and megalomaniacs. It doesn't exist.

Now, I'll admit that I had decided the claims were horseshit before even looking into them. That's not prejudice, that's having a good internal "laugh test". Plus there's the whole duck thing: if it looks like horseshit and smells like horseshit, I don't need to taste it before telling you that it's horseshit.

But, yeah, I haven't bothered to look into this whole "can't wear green and red to school" thing. Luckily, other people have and then they did it some more, and some other people have as well.

So, read it if you want, or just watch Fox News Blowhard (and author of the book "The War on Christmas") John Gibson go Zell-Miller-grade nuts on national TV (and read about what happened afterward as well.)